“All I want is you and a backyard with a lemon tree.”
That's what I told my husband Travis as he was packing up his things to move to California about 5 years ago, not knowing when we’d live together again. He was starting our transition to a new life out West, while I stayed behind in DC to *hopefully* sell my business. It was the biggest leap of faith we’d ever taken, and we had no idea how it was going to turn out. We leaped and we trusted, and it was absolutely terrifying.
Among all the ridiculously hard things I’d done up to that point, that time of my life was harder and darker than I could have possibly imagined (not unlike the moment many of us may find ourselves in now). On the bad days I could barely get out of bed. On the good ones, I could feel a small sense of hope taking root in the dark and fertile soil of my soul.
I watered that hope with my faith in being reunited with my love and imagining that beautiful lemon tree in my yard (it was a true lifeline). It took nearly a year and a superhuman amount resilience (and a hero’s journey that may one day become a book), but I sold my business and made it to San Francisco.
Six months ago we moved into a house with enough outdoor space to house all my wildest plant dreams, which of course meant I could finally plant my tree! A few weeks ago I was at the farmers market when I spotted it. It had six fat, fully grown lemons dripping from it’s branches.
“How old is this tree?” I asked. “About 5 years,” the farmer answered. As I was planting the imaginary seed of my bright yellow lemon tree, he put this real one in the ground. I knew it was the one to bring home.
So here I am, planting it in a pot I’ve also been saving for 5 years. The amount of joy felt almost irrational and also like the most deserved manifestation in my life.
Even if life feels dark right now, please keep tending to the seeds of your dreams and trusting that the energy of what you want is organizing forces well beyond you to bring them to you. Somewhere a farmer is planting a tree, a home is being prepared, a love is opening their heart, a path is being cleared.
You never know how close you are to life giving you lemons, or whatever it is your heart desires.